Ed “Wait, pizza and beer every day isn’t good for me? Why didn’t anyone tell me! Why is behavior change so difficult”
Sorry, but we now live in the Information Age, and answers to every question are less than one second away.
But making long-lasting behavior change is difficult.
We all have a pretty good idea of the lifestyle choices that are good for us: exercise, eat more veggies, don’t smoke, don’t drink as much, cut back on sugar, lose weight, and the list goes on.
But if we know what we are supposed to do and we still don’t do it – why?
Making behavior changes that stick is one of the hardest things we can do. It’s messy, we often have setbacks, believe that we lack motivation or willpower, or don’t feel supported in our quest to be a better version of ourselves.
Looking at the literature on behavior change, there are many well-researched reasons why making long-lasting changes is so difficult. Understanding why behavior change is so difficult can help us develop specific strategies to overcome them.
Let’s talk about a few of them and offer solutions.
1. We Need to Re-frame “Failure”
Lasting behavior change is never linear.
We cannot rely on sheer willpower to make changes that stick. We will have “failures”. In my clinic, I tell my clients to not think in terms of failing, but rather having a “setback”. One rule in my clinic is that there isn’t any “negative self-talk”. We will not think twice about saying negative, maybe even mean, things about ourselves that we would never say to friends or family.
There will be many speed bumps on the road to change, expect them. “The best views come after the hardest climb” is proudly displayed on the wall at my local YMCA and I pause to reflect on that before every workout.
“Setbacks” are a way of doing some soul searching, finding out what went wrong, and where we need to pay extra attention. Then we try again and again. This is when you lean on family, friends, and your health coach.
Solution: Limit “negative self-talk”. See “setbacks” as opportunities to re-group and come back stronger. Never use “setbacks” as reasons for quitting or an excuse. Take ownership of your actions and be willing to look honestly at yourself and search for areas of improvement.
Strive for 1% improvement daily.
2.“Fear” is Not a Good Long-Term Motivator
“If you don’t lose weight, you are probably looking at developing heart disease, diabetes, and an increased risk of strokes.”
You would think hearing something like that would kick you into high gear, scare you into change. However, that’s not the case. Fear may work for a small portion of people, but for most of us, fear is not a good long-term motivator for behavior change.
“Carrots and sticks” (rewards and punishments) may work for short-term behavior change, but if we truly want to make changes that last, we need to get out of the fear and instead focus on the positive outcomes of our behavior change.
Using weight as an example, instead of focusing on the fear factor of extra weight, focus on the positive aspects of weight loss. Ask yourself what your life may look and feel like if you did lose weight. What would you be able to do that you may have trouble with now? Try to find positive compelling reasons to make the change.
Thinking of your ideal Identity often helps. Personally, the identity I remind myself of is that of being “strong and healthy “. This then helps drive my decisions centered around exercise, what I eat (or don’t eat), and lifestyle choices, by asking myself “what would a strong and healthy person do?”
Solution: Instead of fear, use positivity to build your foundation to make long-lasting changes. Search for your new “Identity”, then have an “Action” plan, and finally how you ‘Feel” about the changes you are making.
Identity: Strong and healthy. Action plan: Daily 30-minute walk. Feelings: Improved self-esteem, feeling better about myself, taking control of my future health.
3. Trying to Make too Many Changes at one Time.
Trying to take on weight loss, regular exercise, cutting back on drinking, reducing your stress levels, and eating better all at once is setting you up for “failure”. Try making small changes, focusing on 1-2 areas first. One of the first things they teach you in Physical Therapy school after you evaluate a client is to make a “problem” list of all the things that need to be corrected.
For example, improve range of motion, increase strength, decrease swelling, set up a home exercise program, and patient education. We then go about trying to solve many of those issues at once. After almost 30 years of clinical practice as a Physical Therapist, I realize this approach doesn’t work well for behavior change. After self-reflection and a burst of motivation, you decide you want to start exercising, lose weight, get stronger, eat better, prioritize sleep, and cut back on your drinking. As you bask in your newfound motivation, your initial plan may include trying to change everything at once.
Behavior change research indicates this may not be your best choice. Trying to change too much at one time often leads to “failure” and then feeds into negative beliefs of “I always fail when I try to make changes so why even bother”.
Solution: A better strategy would be to focus on only 1-2 areas that you want to make changes in and develop clearly defined obtainable goals. Pick an area you are the most motivated to change.
4. Your Goals are too Vague, and Not Specific Enough.
Setting S.M.A.R.T. goals for change. Consider these 2 examples of goals regarding exercise:
- “I’m going to start exercising next week”
- “I’m going to start exercising 2 times next week on Tuesday and Thursday at 9:00 am.
I will walk on the treadmill for 20 ‘ and then do 10 minutes of stretching
The first goal is a bit vague, open-ended, and allows for too much compromise. The second goal is more specific as you have outlined exactly when you will be exercising, what you will be doing, and for how long.
Solution: Making goals that are S.M.A.R.T. are much more effective and likely to actually get done. Learn more about setting S.M.A.R.T. goals
S – Specific. Instead of “get stronger” it would something like “do 10 pull-ups in 1 month”
M – Measurable. Make sure you can measure your progress
A – Achievable/Action plan. Make sure you have a plan & the goal is obtainable
R- Relevant. Is this goal relevant to my “big picture” Identity?
T – Timely/Time-bound. Make sure you put a time frame on the goal to keep you on track
5. You Don’t Have Your “Why” and You Lack the “How”
The “why” refers to your internal motivation to make the change and the “how” refers to your specific action plan and the knowledge to make the changes.
Behavior change requires both. To make lasting changes, you will need to develop a sense of internal motivation. “Carrots and sticks” (rewards and punishments) are examples of external motivation that have been shown to be effective for short-term behavior change but not for long-term change.
Solution: Let’s talk about how to develop your “why”. Some of the questions you may need to ask yourself include:
“What is my desired ‘Identity’ and what do I need to do to get there”
“Based on my desired ‘Identity’, what are the actions I need to take”
“How will my life look and feel different if I change a specific behavior”
“When I think about my future, what does it look and feel like”
“How ready am I to make a lasting change in my lifestyle”
Now let’s talk about the “how”. You’ve dialed in your “why”, and you’re ready to go but you’re not sure how to get there. Making lifestyle changes centered around restorative sleep, exercise, nutrition, and stress reduction can yield huge long-term benefits.
You can try and figure out the “how” by yourself, or you can partner with us at Live Well 50 and let us connect the dots for you.
6. You need to improve the quality of your habits
The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your habits.
Much like making behavior changes that stick, developing good habits is challenging. However, there is a science to developing habits and we are here to help. In his best-selling book, Atomic Habits, James Clear outlines 4 basic steps in forming new habits:
- Set up your environment for success
- Make your new habit attractive
- Make it incredibly easy to do
- Make it rewarding
Solution: Understand the importance of developing good habits, and limiting or eliminating undesirable habits that are no longer serving you.
The science behind “How to develop new habits”
7. Failure to fully commit
When filled with motivation, we are in the “hot zone”. We start off with a flurry, and everything’s great. Until it isn’t and we enter the “cold zone” where making the right decision gets harder.
Since we are all human, the motivation to continue a new behavior tends to wain as time goes on and compliance suffers. We need to make a commitment to accomplishing our goals. But if we can anticipate this, we can then put safeguards in place.
Utilizing a “Commitment Device” can help. Commitment devices basically are predetermined “rewards” or “‘punishments” that are linked to your behavior.
Solution: Develop a strong sense of commitment to accomplishing your goals. Use a Commitment device to help. Examples include
- Have a friend or family member join you in your journey to make a similar lifestyle change.
- Use “temptation bundling”. Do you have a favorite podcast or love your audiobook? Make a deal with yourself that you can only listen to it when you are on your treadmill exercising or cutting up vegetables for dinner or tomorrow’s lunch.
- Schedule exercise times with a friend, either in person or virtually. I have one client that walks 3 times per week with her friend who lives across the country and they use that time to talk on the phone.
- Smaller portions. Instead of the large bags of cookies or chips, buy a small, snack size to help limit how much you might eat.
- Financial commitment. Join a club or a membership service dedicated to helping you make Lifestyle changes
- Order groceries online to avoid the temptation of putting unhealthy foods in your cart
- 30 minutes of TV if you don’t snack after dinner.
- Put down in writing your commitment to change
Final thoughts & Your Next Step
Although it may be one of the toughest things you may do, making long-term, healthier lifestyle choices reap multiple rewards.
Understanding the obstacles you are most likely to face will help you devise a plan for success. Having a partner to help through every aspect of the process is critical to success.
Are you ready to take the first step? Schedule your Free 15’ Discovery Call Today!
Cheers,
Ed Deboo, PT
