Ed At Live Well 50, we believe in healthy living through Lifestyle Medicine. The 4 pillars of lifestyle medicine revolve around nutrition, exercises, restorative sleep, and stress reduction. Prescription medications are used as needed after we have first optimized our lifestyle.
Take the first step
Susan, a long-term client of mine, wasn’t in good health. She was overweight, wasn’t sleeping well, and had low energy levels. She had stopped exercising regularly and didn’t have the best diet. Although she knew she needed to make a change, she just didn’t have the motivation to do so. Well, that changed after her annual medical check-up with her physician. Her lab values showed uncontrolled blood sugar levels and her doctor said she is well on her way to diabetes. This hit home as her father had diabetes and had to have part of his foot amputated as a result. In this blog, we will discuss 4 critical steps Susan should have used to help her gain support and encouragement from her family.
She was now motivated (and scared) to make healthy lifestyle changes. We discussed a game plan to help get her healthier based on developing new, healthy habits. I laid out step-by-step instructions on how to build new habits and she was on her way! Except, there was one big problem, her husband.
Although not in the best of health himself, he saw no need to change the way they lived. He enjoyed his daily beer, chips, and pizza a few times per week. Not a big surprise, but he hadn’t been to the doctor in years and had no plans to start. Men tend to not live as long and are less likely to seek out medical care as compared to women. Needless to say, Susan had a very hard time making changes in her lifestyle to improve her health. Chaos, conflict, and arguing ensued.
The DEAR approach
This is actually a very common scenario that is played out in many households, but there is hope. In his book, “The Longevity Plan: Seven life-transforming Lessons from Ancient China”, Dr. Day discusses 4 helpful steps when trying to make changes in your lifestyle. He advocates using the D.E.A.R. approach:
Step 1: D-Describe the lifestyle change you are making to your family, friends, or partner.
Step 2: E- Explain why you are making the changes to your lifestyle
Step 3: A- Assure your family, friends, and loved ones that they don’t need to make the
same changes you are unless they want to.
Step 4: R- Request their support and understanding during the transition period.
Susan’s situation may have turned out better had she taken the D.E.A.R. approach when first talking to her husband about the changes she needed to make to live a healthier lifestyle. Making positive, healthy, changes to our lifestyles can be difficult and challenging. Support and understanding from our family and friends are a huge part of the successful equation.
